


Unfilled Gaps

by blueshine



Series: Fantasy Sams Club's Twinweek Prompts [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, Rated T for liberal Taako swearing, a different take on sazed, obligatory "taako misses the sister he doesn't know he has" fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 13:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13502828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueshine/pseuds/blueshine
Summary: Taako had this feeling.He never had a name for it, he never spoke of it, and did everything he could not to think on it.





	Unfilled Gaps

Taako had this _feeling._

He never had a name for it, he never spoke of it, and did everything he could not to think on it.

Traveled in caravans for as long as he could remember. When he was young, he looked cute until someone picked him up. When he was older, he looked hot until someone picked him up. Stayed with a group until he thought he was about to be betrayed. Robbed the drivers blind as he ran away. Didn't make any friends, because friends could just...decide to stop. Learned that the hard way. No attachments were strong enough to keep him together with the same people for long. Closest thing he had to family was his aunt, and he only stayed with her for a few months out of his whole life. The rest of his family didn't count.

Didn't remember most his family in the first place.

Taako remembered kicking his feet out the back of the carts to lean out and watch the stars. Didn't matter that he couldn't remember which constellations he used to look at. The sky never looked real in his memories, no use in remembering false constellations. Something at the back of his mind said he would have worked well as a scientist or an explorer. Too busy surviving to think of that fantasy. Back when he was young, he didn't have that _feeling_ in his gut. That particular twinge only came when he was older. Which,  _bullshit._ Like, finally, Taako got a gig that was halfway cool, and it was ruined by these prickling pins and needles that dusted his brain as he meditated. 

Didn't remember where or how he bought his Sizzle it Up caravan.

First off, there was no way he could have afforded it. Must have stolen it, but that also seemed unlikely. This caravan? Made exactly to his tastes. The colors, the style, the sheer concept of it all--very Taako in design. Custom, maybe--kitchen built in, pots and pans and racks of spices just...there. Came with the cart. The only way Taako knew the caravan wasn't built for him? Built with _two_ beds, not one. No way Taako would order _two_ beds on such an elegantly crafted _custom_ cart. Taako was sure he had won the lottery while drunk and also bought the caravan while drunk and  _also_ waited for it to be built while drunk, and--maybe that was far-fetched. He didn't have explanations for the lapses in his memory, but hell if he was complaining. Good thing he did all the hard work with a failed memory. At least he didn't have to remember the labor of it all. (But, then again, why would he have ordered two beds? Maybe he needed a roadie.)

Didn't remember why he trusted Sazed.

Remembered why he _needed_   Sazed--business was booming. Too much work for Taako to do on his own. Much easier to get some _kid_ to do it for him. Was Sazed a kid? Non-elf ages confused Taako (All ages confused Taako--he always felt older than he really was.) If he wasn't a kid, he was young. A little stupid. Naive? Sazed was pretty much everything at one point. Filled any role Taako needed. Drove the cart. Cleaned the kitchen. Watched the crowd. Taako only paid him in cooking lessons, but that didn't matter because Sazed thought Taako was his everything.

He seemed fine. Worshipped the ground Taako walked on. That should have ended there. Should have been a one-way street. But Taako was stupid and the show was all the rage now, so he gave Sazed a few spots in the show. Nothing special. Nothing fancy. The guy didn't have much stage presence. Stumbled through his words. Dropped a cooking tray when he tried passing it with a trick shot. Tried out some catchphrases (all were bad). Tried making his own recipes (one made Taako throw up). But Taako kept him around because he was useful and _fuck_ if it didn't feel like he was looking in a mirror when he watched Sazed study. And, hell, maybe after a hundred years of cart hopping, Taako finally found someone that wasn't out to get him.

But then Sazed asked to put his name on the sign.

In no universe would Taako agree to that, because that would be _physical_ proof that he trusted someone. Sazed was a business partner and nothing else. He could be exchanged with literally anyone else on the planet and it wouldn't matter. So, of course, Taako put him in his place a little. Nothing personal. Just business. Everyone did it to him when he was young, so it shouldn't have been a problem, right? Taako didn't see a problem with it. Blamed it on "merchandising" even though Sazed looked like he didn't believe that for a fucking second. Taako didn't believe it either, so, whatever.

Didn't remember when Sazed started acting different.

Wrote it off as surly teenager things. Sazed was a teen, right? No. No, he was like...thirty. Was thirty young for a human? Taako was bad with ages. Taako was bad with a lot of things. Whatever. Sazed acted _weird_ for like...two months. Must have been because he was shut down, but hell if Taako cared. He did his show as normal. Sent Sazed off for more errands so he didn't have to see his dumbass face pouting in the corner of his eye. He took a lot of time with his errands, which, fine. Clear your head, Sazed. That must be why it took him an hour to go to the fucking apothecary. Taako tried to practice magic to stop thinking about it.

Magic wasn't something he was good at. The spells didn't come easy to him. Studying didn't come easy. Would have probably worked better if he had a study buddy, but _fuck_ him if he ever asked Sazed for help with magic. He'd probably ask to be cohost again. The magic that Taako _did_ know made the Sizzle it Up crowd go bananas. The other thing that was popular? Garlic. People went crazy for garlic lately. Someone must have told all the homebodies that garlic was some kind of healthy medicine food. Taako wrote up a recipe for thirty garlic clove chicken.

Didn't remember when he started running.

It was sometime after the first person got sick. It must have been the elderberries--look just like nightshade--sloppy transmutation. Because he was an idiot wizard. Couldn't do anything right. Luckily, fuck-ups could learn to stay prepared for worst-case scenarios, and _this was it._ Later he would hear rumors and news that forty people died. Taako was never a particularly generous or caring person, but _forty people?_ That's forty people with families. Forty people with friends. Forty people with business partners. Forty people with siblings?

Why was he so upset about the siblings?

He and Sazed drove for two days in complete silence. Sweat rolled down Sazed's face as he steered through forests. Didn't want to take any main roads. Too risky. Here, running from the law, Sazed didn't look as young as he used to. Something about the running felt familiar to Taako, but he didn't remember running from anything as dangerous as this before. At least he was good at it. At least he was good at _something._

Taako woke up in the grass after sleeping for the first time. Caravan gone.

Not a problem.

If there was one thing Taako remembered, it was that he was meant to be alone.

He started taking jobs with a couple adventurers. Didn't remember their names too well. They all met on Craig's List, the list that Craig the Gnome post on the old redwood tree near the well. He felt something at the back of his mind as he stayed with these two. Didn't want to say he trusted them, but he put as much faith in them as his shitty brain would allow. They cracked jokes with him and it felt like they had a fucking hivemind when he'd start a sentence and the other two would finish with the punchline.

Suddenly, that disgusting _feeling_   hit Taako right between the eyes.

He tried not to think on it.

And then they all took "the last job any of them needed to take," which, yeah, _obviously_ that means it was super fucking dangerous. Might not make it out of this one.

Taako couldn't bring himself to give a shit. Just went along with those other two chucklefucks.

They took Gundren's offer. They would drive out the next night. Until then, they had some down time. Taako's-- _Coworkers? Companions?--_ joked and riffed at the bar, and, fuck, Taako didn't want to engage. Felt like shit tonight. He didn't acknowledge Gundren's bodyguard until he approached the bar. This asshole--this asshole started talking to him out of nowhere, nursing the drink in his hand and watching Taako with eyes that were meant for someone more familiar.

"You ever feel like you weren't meant to be alone?"

What the fuck was this dude getting at? _Of course_ Taako felt that. Maybe this dude felt it too. Didn't mean he had the right to be _nagging Taako at the bar._ Taako ignored him, but the guy just _kept talking._

"Like, I'm not...lonely, really. That's--inaccurate. It just feels like I'm _supposed_   to be around more people. You know how dogs travel in packs and birds travel in flocks? Like that." The guy adjusted his glasses, nervous once he saw how Taako glared at him. "I'm fine on my own, really, I'm a grown-ass man--"

Taako grinned. "You're an ass man?"

The guy laughed, only half joking. "Yeah. Guess I am." He pointed over to Taako's-- _Acquaintances? Friends?_   "That's what I'm talking about, though--you guys are pretty okay. I don't have that feeling as much here."

"Weird."

"Right?" The guy stayed quiet for a couple minutes. Taako wished he would talk again. The voice sounded like home. And then he did. "Something still feels off."

"Go on."

"Like...I'm missing something? You know when you leave the house, and it's...you have this _feeling_   that you've forgotten your keys or left the stove on? But then you go back into your house and everything's fine. You didn't forget anything, but...somehow, you are. I don't know how to describe it better. Sorry." He took a minute and studied Taako's face. Taako did the same. "I feel like I've seen you somewhere before."

"Watch any cooking shows?" Taako kicked himself for bringing it up, but he also felt like he knew this guy from somewhere. He _needed_ to know. Why did every cell in his body scream _family_ when he looked at this dopey-ass nerd?

"No, I've burned more kitchens than I haven't." This didn't surprise Taako. Felt right. The guy looked at his bare ring finger, then to Taako, then back to his finger. "It's more like...fuck, I feel like if I was married, you would have been the best man."

Taako burst out laughing, not even sorry for how embarrassed the guy must have felt. "That's a fucked up thing to say to someone you just met."

"I know." The guy turned back to his drink. "Just thought I'd be honest."

At that moment, Taako would have been perfectly right to leave the guy. Had every reason to. He had acted weird, he didn't have anything else more to say, the conversation was dead. But something about the guy's face put a name to the feeling Taako held onto for so many years. Taako wasn't one for trust, he was built to be alone, but he couldn't stop himself from blurting it out in front of this stranger.

"I feel like my heart's missing."

"Funny." The guy didn't laugh. "I feel like mine's still out there."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I'm doing twin week! I was *going* to do both twins (because who can pick a favorite?) but then I was like "I want to write Taako pre-canon" and this happened.  
> anyway, I've got some good stuff planned out for this week.....hope ya'll are ready!  
> Thanks for reading!


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